About B’nei Mitzvah

This life cycle event in the life of a Jew and the process leading up to it is a transformative and significant experience in the life of a Jewish adolescent and his/her family. Judaism teaches much about community, and this ritual happens within our nurturing Temple community as no one becomes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in isolation. While invitations are commonly sent to guests, our entire community is welcome at all religious services at Temple Beth Shalom.

It is important to remember that one becomes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the daughter or son of the mitzvot or commandments. As one ascends the bimah (raised platform) he or she begins the process of becoming a Jewish adult and claiming his or her own relationship to our ancient tradition. B’nei Mitzvah is a status that we retain throughout our lives. The ceremonies of B’nei Mitzvah are not goals or ends in themselves. Rather, they represent beginnings or first steps on the lifelong path of Jewish responsibility. The service and celebration may last a few hours, but the commitment is for the rest of our lives. It is our hope that each of our children will become active members of the Jewish community not only of Needham; but of the community of Israel throughout their lives.

For specific questions regarding our educational requirements, please contact of Director of Education, Sandy Whitecross at swhitecross@tbsneedham.org or 781-444-0388.

Each of our students has the same basic requirements for becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah regardless of gender. Among our goals is to provide our young people with life-long skills that will be helpful as they take on more responsibilities as adult Jews.

Parents of Our B’nei Mitzvah:

All of our parents who have committed their children to Jewish learning of course play an important role at this precious lifecycle moment. We therefore honor all parents both Jewish and not, alongside their children for bringing their children into the Jewish community. Jewish parents are asked to chant the traditional Hebrew Torah blessings and our non-Jewish parents are invited to read a blessing in English during the Torah service as well. All parental involvement in Jewish education and participation in the temple community has the power to shape the Jewish experiences in the lives of their children. Let us know what doors we can help open for you.

Scheduling dates: It has become our custom to assign B’nei Mitzvah dates during the Fourth Grade year of each student. If you are new to our congregation and have a child who has already finished Grade 4, please contact Rabbi Lenke so that we can work together to find a date for your child.

Se’udah Shel Mitzvah: Though many refer to the celebration at the conclusion of the B’nei Mitzvah service as a party, it is in fact a mitzvah to celebrate the accomplishments of our children with a celebratory meal. As you consider your plans for your child’s celebration, we encourage you to take into consideration the unique qualities of your child. Bigger is not necessarily better, and sometimes the more casual celebrations are more appreciated by the child. For those families interested in holding your reception at Temple Beth Shalom, please contact Sandy Hain, our Temple Administrator.

Special Needs: It is our goal to meet the educational needs of each and every Bar and Bat Mitzvah candidate in our school. To help meet this goal, we are fortunate to have a program called Lehiyot, which is geared for the students in our community with particular learning issues that necessitate more individualized attention. All of our Lehiyot students are prepared to lead the typical Shabbat morning service, including reading from the Torah, the Haftarah portion as well as delivering a D’var Torah, or teaching about their Torah portion.

If you believe that your child, or any child in the area, would benefit from being in our Hebrew Lehiyot program, please contact the Education Office. Marion Green, our teacher, will conduct an evaluation of each child before placement.

These classes are open to non-Temple members as well for a special fee, based on a space available basis. Please feel free to call the Education Office at 781-444-0388, if you have any questions.